Sleep

We adults all want more of it. We know we need it. How do we get it? 

Babies and children need lots of sleep. So many of the parents I see have similar concerns.  Is my baby sleeping too much? Why won’t my baby go to sleep? Why won’t my baby stay asleep? 

The story that my Mum always told my siblings and I was that we were great sleepers. She had four children under the age of six and I am pretty sure that she needed us to be good sleepers. So, which came first? 

I like to think that we all have a story to tell. And yes, I think that we can change that story. We can teach ourselves a new story. 

Are you as an adult a good sleeper? Do you have good sleep hygiene yourself? I know that for me, I need good sleep. Without sleep I make hasty decisions; I am less patient and I am just not as nice. 

Does this change the way that I think about sleep? I am sure that, whilst not always thinking about it, my Mum's story about us being good sleepers, translated well. The story that I, without realising it assumed that my children would also be good sleepers. 

As a nurse I have seen a lot of babies. Sick babies, well babies, screaming babies, vomiting babies…. and, you know what…. they all need sleep. How do we help those babies that don't think they need sleep?

As parents we want to keep our babies safe - actually this is our job. We choose the safe bassinet and cot, we take the advice offered by health authorities and set up safe sleeping spaces. This space also holds our thoughts and feelings. We want calm clear loving thoughts to fill this space. We want our babies to be calm and to know that it is safe to sleep. We aim to be calm and to know they will be ok when they sleep. 

Studies have shown that routine and consistency benefit our children’s sleep patterns from the earliest age. That better longer sleep, with the ability to go to sleep faster, is related directly to routine. The good news, it’s never too late to make changes. No matter when you introduce a routine the benefits will begin. 

So what can we do to create good routines and manage our ability to stick with the routine. All households are different, but you want something that works for you, in your house. It doesn’t have to be long and involved, or you may really enjoy this time of the day so you can drag it out. Some nights your kids will only need a few pages of a book, another night the whole story. The beauty of a routine is that you have the ability to change and adapt it when required.

I remember on the nights that we went out for dinner with toddlers,  we may have pushed bedtime out a bit.  The routine may have been shortened, or we may have sung some songs in the car on the way home. As long as the cuddles and kisses were real and authentic the kids whilst maybe needing an extra touch or quiet minute with us would go to sleep even though the whole routine hadn’t been exactly as normal. 

Whilst routine is important, sometimes just the rhythm surrounding this time of the night may be enough. Our kids want to know what to expect. To know that it’s a late night, so we don’t get 3 books, we can only have one. Or that the song is now in the car, not when we are in bed. They can adapt if we can give them the tools to do this. Communication before bed is vital. Books, stories or singing make a difference to our children. Our voices, and narrative from the earliest age make transitions smoother for our kids.